Four Questions Conscious Leaders Ask

Before defining conscious leadership, let’s define unconscious leadership. 

The official definition of “unconscious” is…

A dramatic alteration of one’s mental state that involves a complete or near complete lack of responsiveness to people and other environmental stimuli.

This definition is mostly related to the physical state of being unconscious rather than the psychological state that we’re concerned with, but it’s applicable for our purposes as well. 

Unconscious leaders don't experience authentic reality, but rather a distorted reality influenced by their unique set of circumstances, such as their genetics, parents, language, culture, beliefs, past experiences, etc.

They’re not responding to the actual moment unfolding in front of them but rather reacting to their internal mental models of the world, which makes them less effective at dealing with what’s really going on.

This reactivity is based on their past learned experiences, which keeps them repeating the same behavioral patterns that may no longer be serving them in accomplishing what they set out to accomplish. 

This typically leads to stress, self-criticism, and burnout, because despite their best efforts and hard work they’re unable to achieve the level of change that would improve their lives. 

Conscious leaders on the other hand experience what is occurring here and now in the moment, they’re not stuck in their old patterns and are free to respond to what each moment requires of them.

This gives conscious leaders a competitive advantage in the marketplace and makes more effective leaders who are able to produce better results and create productive and healthy organizational cultures. 

So, how does one become a more conscious leader? By frequently asking these four questions of conscious leadership*. 

1) Where am I now… above or below the line?

This question helps leaders locate themselves as being unconscious--reacting to their personal stories about themselves and the world--or conscious--responding to what’s actually occurring in a non-personal, objective manner. 

Being below the line is natural and normal, it’s where most of us reside most of the time, but it’s not optimal.

We’re driven below the line by threats, threats to our ego (thoughts), so we go into survival mode, which shuts us off from accessing creativity, collaboration, innovation, and connection. All critical characteristics of high-level problem-solving. 

By pausing, breathing, and asking this question, we gain a sense of self-awareness--noticing our present state of consciousness--which is the first step to any transformation. 

2) Can I accept myself for where I am?

Awareness is noticing and acceptance is welcoming what you notice with compassion.

When we notice that we’re below the line, the ego tends to judge--we’re our own harshest critics--and this self-criticism drives us further below the line.

We become triggered and reactive, which causes a physiological response that is constricting. Since the body leads the mind, we need to change our bodily state before we can change our consciousness.

A simple and effective way of doing this is to take a few slow, deep breaths into our belly and dramatically move our body, which releases the tension and frees the mind from the body’s stress response.

Acceptance is the antidote to fear--what we accept we no longer fear--and it shifts us out of threat and into a state of safety and security, where we can more effectively respond to the situation at hand. 

3) Am I willing to shift?

This is a big question because so often we say we want to shift but we’re not truly willing to shift. We’d rather stay in our comfort zone than face the discomfort of change. 

This again is a natural and normal resistance to change that’s instilled in us through our evolutionary past, but with practice, we can become more comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Typically, 80% of the time the answer to this question will be “No, I’m not willing to shift.” This is almost as important as being willing to shift, because when we own our “No” we step into responsibility.

Instead of blaming people, situations, and circumstances for what’s happening to us, we recognize that we’re in control, at least of our inner state and response, which is incredibly liberating and empowering.

Responsibility is also the basis for any real positive change in our life because without it we need to control the outside world, which is constantly changing and largely out of our control, so it can never really be controlled. 

4) How will I shift?

“How” questions are the easiest part of the transformation in consciousness because there are so many resources out there for various practices and techniques, like books, videos, podcasts, etc.

Usually, we hide our unwillingness to change by asking “how” questions. What we find is that once we’re willing to change, the “how” tends to reveal itself. 

We offer a lot of different shift moves in our course, but the one we like most is asking wonder questions.

Wonder questions provoke open-ended curiosity that has no “right” answer. These types of questions help us break free of what we’ve been unconsciously conditioned to believe and step into new ways of perceiving ourselves and the world around us.

Here are a few examples of wonder questions. It’s important to understand that it’s not so much the actual words but the consciousness from which the question is asked.

• What can I learn from this experience?

• How is this familiar?

• What is the risk of letting this go?

• What's another way of looking at this?

• What is this costing me?

• What can I appreciate about this situation?

• If this issue were resolved, what would I be doing instead?

• How is this in support of my evolution?

• What do I want? What do I really want? 

By asking these four questions frequently and consistently, we gain more awareness and acceptance, which is the foundation for any transformation in consciousness to take place. 

*This model comes from the book, “The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership,” which is also the basis for our coaching program. We highly recommend reading the book, but we know that reading a book doesn’t usually spark dramatic change, which is why we created our conscious leadership course. Our course takes the concepts and practices from the book and helps you implement them into your daily life through support, guidance, and coaching. We want conscious leadership to stick so that more people can lead more productive and happy lives and create environments for others to do the same.